When I first arrived I was doing a great job at covering it up. I was very self contious when I first got here so I learned to "burp on the inside" as Niki would say. But I think that now that I have become more comfortable with my surroundings I have let my inhibitions go a little.
Pretty much everything but water gives me gas. Unfortunatly when I'm not paying close attention, I will let an incredibly loud burp slip out and reverberate through the kitchen and of course everyone is appalled by this. I hear shouts of "Che schifo!!" (what a disgust) or "Disgraziato!!!" (a disgrace) from all through out the restaurant.
We all went bowling after work the other night, and I had had a couple of beers. While I was reading something I let one rip. It was bad. No exaggeration, the whole place stopped and looked at me. Chef just waived his hands and assured everyone that it was alright because I was an American. Everyone just laughed and shook their heads. I vaguely remember some applause.......I shouldn't be allowed out of the house.
Fortunately, I have yet to introduce anyone to the other end of the gas factory. I don't know what it is. It must be the change in diet. Less dairy maybe? What ever the cause, flatulence production is at an all time low. It's a good thing, because I think that burping is one thing that I can work on. It is something that can be over looked, or treated as Homer Simpsonish or comedic. I think that I would be viewed very differently if I were to make their eyes water or their skin melt off with the volatile gas that my body is capable of producing.
My other attribute that I am starting to believe is perceived as offish is my sweating. With the onset of summer, my body is not prepared for the climate change. My blood has been thickened by the harsh Western New York winter, and the heat is starting to get to me. At work today everyone seemed cool and collected, while I was sweating like a beast of burden. I can only hope that my body will become acclimated soon. It's not even that hot yet. I think that everyone was concerned for my health or something. They just kept encouraging me to drink more water, and asking if I was alright.
All in all it's not that bad. I'll have to work harder on realizing that I am not the only person in the room and make an effort to improve my manners. I did my best to convey the fact that not all Americans are sweaty, gas producing, mindless cretins and I think they bought it.
Unfortunately, I have yet to develop any cool super powers from the spider bite, but on the up side there is no necrotic flesh sloughing off leaving an oozing infected hole in my hand. I'll keep you posted on both accounts.
